Three Boys for Dinner

Here's a window into a particularly fun dinner we had Monday night (Scott was working late, so it was just me and the boys):


I fixed stroganoff and rice. Seth came to the table and declared, "This is the grossest dinnah I've evah seen." I quickly lectured him on how rude a statement that was and why he should never say that to ANYONE who has fixed him dinner (personally, I wasn't the least bit offended. It's not like I live with the most discriminating palettes on the planet). Then Blane prayed, "Dear God, thank you for MommySethMeandDaddy (ed note: somehow Zac doesn't make it in there audibly) and thank you that I don't like this dinner, in Jesus' name, amen."

The boys continued with their frowny faces with the dinner, but I noticed that Zac put his napkin in his lap, so I told them that tonight we would practice our Manners Contest to see who gets the most Manners Points (and so far, Zac was winning). This made everyone over 3 perk up. I informed them that instead of complaining about the meal, they could find at least one thing nice to say about it. Then the gratuitous praise flowed. "This is a very tasty meal, Mom" and "What a nutritious meal!" I had to tell them to stop because the flattery was getting ridiculous. Then one of the boys said, "If we burp or fart, we have to say excuse me to get a point!"

"Actually," I said, "you LOSE points if you burp or toot at the table. You just will lose TWO if you don't say excuse me."

"But what if we can't help it?"

Obviously they have a lot to learn. We then started talking about monkeys and if the Seth lived with them, he wouldn't have to have any manners.

He thought that was a good idea. I pointed out the food problem. "I can eat bananas!" he replied.

"Yeah, in a disgusting dish, with lots of....never mind."

The boys saw a sliver of light (or a chunk of poop, to be more exact). "Listen guys," I said pre-emptively, "we are not going to talk about this any more."

Zac said, "Can we talk about cows?"

"Yes," I said, "as long as you don't talk about bodily functions. That is not appropriate dinnertime talk." All the fun was gone, so that subject died.

After eating their "bites" and being excuse, more praise for the meal followed. I stopped counting all the compliments, so I have no idea who won. But, it made our mealtime a bit more civilized!