Real simple....unless you have kids

I got a letter in the mail today from Real Simple magazine begging me to re-up (actually, I've taken a hiatus for several years, so the proper term at this point is to re-subscribe!) Little do they know I've already done it, but that is not relevant to this post.

Included in the letter was my free Speed Cleaning Guide! It's a small thin folded piece of glossy cardstock with tips on cleaning my house muy rapido. Wow! Thanks, guys!

The insights were really amazing. Did you know that your living room can be clean in 6 minutes of daily effort? Yes! And the bathroom "should take no more time than flossing your teeth" to clean. In fact, you can clean your house in 19 minutes flat. Except, they left one little item out. Make that three little items in my case. Using the guide, with my commentary in italics, I will walk you through a hypothetical "speed cleaning" session:

LIVING ROOM
Their time: 6 minutes daily
Actual time: 20-40 minutes, depending on how fast I pick up the styrofoam pebbles out the carpet that Seth shredded for a "game".

• Pick up crumbs and dust bunnies with a hand-held vacuum (1 min)--see above
• Fluff cushions and fold throws after use (2 min)--if I can find them, because they might be a central support beam in a fort somewhere. Let's hope it's not outside.
• Wipe tabletops and spot-clean cabinets when you see fingerprints (1 min)--I give up.
• Straighten coffee-table books and magazines. Throw out old newspapers. Put away CD's and DVD's (2 min)--why do they think books and magazines only live on the coffee table?

By Real Simple's standards I should now have a clean living room. But why didn't they say anything about the Lego fort in the corner, the Monopoly game in progress on the floor and a Webkinz convention being held in the other corner? Still doesn't look clean to me, but maybe the kitchen will be better...after all, no toys in there, right?

THE KITCHEN

Their time: 4 1/2 minutes (wow...down to the second mark!)

Actual time: Never, because someone is always hungry.

• Wipe down the sink after doing the dishes or loading the dishwasher (30 sec)--what I want to know is, when did I have time to load the dishwasher?
• Wipe down the stovetop (1 min)--okay, that's not too hard--except there's this baked-on stuff I just keep hoping will evaporate away...
• Wipe down counters (1 min)--check. Just got to maneuver around the piles of mail and the extra food that I can't stuff in my pantries.
• Sweep, Swiffer or vacuum the floor (2 min)--this only works as long as no one eats for a while. One rice cake later, the work is destroyed.

Well, my kitchen should be clean, but somehow the sparkly sink I wiped down so prettily isn't showing up against all those dishes. On to the bedroom.

THE BEDROOM (let's use the boys' bedrooms for examples)

Their time: 6 1/2 minutes daily (they are nothing if not precise!)

Actual time: A really good job? By me? Probably quarterly to every 6 months. When I can't stand it any more.

• Make the bed (2 min)--hmm. If the pillows make it to the top of the bed and the sheets/blankets are located anywhere other than the floor or the bottom of the bed, does that count?
• Fold or hang clothing and put away jewelry (4 min)---hahahahahahahahahaha (pause and inhale) hahahahahahahahahaooohhahh hack, cough, ack!
• Straighten out the night table surface (30 sec)--no night table, so I'm skipping this.

Nope. Not even close. I'm losing faith, because the next one is the worst one of all.

THE BATHROOM

Their time: 2 minutes daily (I'm astounded!)

Actual time: 3 hours of intense, scrubbing labor that requires heavy duty cleaners, old clothes for me and fumes.

• Wipe out the sink (30 sec)-- I might need a chisel for the dried toothpaste blobs and remains of a bar of soap stuck to the sink.
• Wipe the toilet seat and rim (20 sec)--I have three boys who no longer require diapers and enjoy target practice. They must be kidding. I note there is NO MENTION of wiping the bottom of the toilet, the surrounding floor, the walls, the tub, the shower curtain, the rug or any object within 5 cubic feet of the potty.
• Swoosh the toilet bowl with a brush (20 sec)--see above.
• Wipe the mirror and faucet (20 min)--I refer you to the chisel.
• Squeegee the shower dooor (30 sec)--This does not apply to me because the boys don't use their shower. The last time they did, I had to rent a canoe to make to the tub. The only shower in our room, where there is a true shower door which keeps most of the water in the stall. I do keep life rings handy for emergencies, however. And hey, I don't own a Squeegee.

According to Real Simple magazine, my house is now clean! As I look around, I conclude...these people clearly don't have kids.

God with Us

It's 11:00 on Christmas Eve. The kids are tucked in bed, Scott bundled up in a parka to go to the 11 pm Christmas Eve service at the Anglican church on the corner, and I just finished wrapping the presents and stuffing the stockings.

Our tree is small but bright. It's definitely not the biggest one in the windows you drive by in our neighborhood. But it's full of ornaments, some from long ago, some given to us by dear people, some that commemorate special times of our lives and those made by little hands. The ornaments are mishmash, but somehow they all work together.

The stash under the tree is humble but all we need. It's been a tough end of the year for us and almost everyone else in America financially. Yet the fridge is full, there's money in the bank for another day and the gifts our children asked for are under the tree, plus a few they didn't ask for.

We just spent an evening with our family. Different religions, backgrounds and political views laughed and hugged their way through the evening. We watched a menorah be lit, heard songs sung in Hebrew/Yiddish and then merrily gave and received Christmas presents from each other. Dinner was wonderful and the company even better. It was truly a merry Christmas for us all.

I rejoice and exult in the thought of Emmanuel--God with us. Not many other words carry such power or force than this one. God with me...God in me. He is here.

Oh Lord, let me never get so distracted by the things that I don't have to miss the wealth that You have given me. In life, in possessions, in family, in children, in a husband, in You.

Emmanuel. No other gift on earth could be so dear to me as the gift of You and the life You give to me!

Simple Gifts

I was just thinking the other day about the little pleasures of parenthood that I didn't even think about experiencing before I had kids. Here are a few:

• Teaching your kids how to make a paper airplane.
• Watching your child's face light up when he sucks on the end of a honeysuckle blossom.
• Making them the weird and wonderful concoction that is French toast.
• Discovering the joy of Christmas TV specials. Somehow, Charlie Brown & Co. never get old.
• Reading all the little "books" your kiddo makes.
• Having a good excuse to try Dilly bars again.
• Making chicken nuggets (GF, of course) for dinner.
• Being able to snack on Goldfish.
• The smell of baby lotion and kid shampoo.
• Reading through the Chronicles of Narnia, Charlotte's Web, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Hans Christian Andersen again.
• Coloring and talking with your kid.
• Playing with Playdoh.
• Rediscovering the joys of hot chocolate with swirly whipped cream on top.
• Introducing the kids to great, timeless kid-fare movies like Star Wars, Hook, and someday soon, National Treasure and Raiders of the Lost Ark.
• Watching a speckled slug leave a silver trail on a wheelbarrow.
• Fun with burr oak acorns and horse apples.
• Pressing leaves and flowers.
• Teaching your kids to make snickerdoodles and pancakes.
• Going to the zoo.
• Staying in a hotel (an wonderous adventure unto itself with children).
• Teaching your kids to chew gum (don't swallow it!)
• Fun songs you forgot about from your childhood--16 Tons of Greasy, Grimy Gopher Guts, The Yodeling Song, Mrs. O'Leary's Cow, Eeny Meeny Miney Mo, etc. I don't know if I got all those titles right...
• Finding the utter fun in listening to the Proclaimers' song "I would walk 500 miles".
• Discovering it is "crunchy outside" when it snows.
• Teaching your kids how to properly roll a snowball for a snowman.
• The joy of icicles.
• Snow ice cream.
• Walking with your kids on a Sunday afternoon.
• Listening to them sing Christian songs around the house.
• Finding the laughs in bathroom humor again.

I'm sure I'll think of more in the days ahead, and I'll try to write them down.

Update on Principal's office

Heard back from Seth's teacher--nothing new to report. It's pretty much as Seth described. I have to hand it to Seth--he is generally a very honest little thing! The teacher said they are working every day on self-control. Seth is like a little wild rose bush...a pleasure to have around, but we have to constantly clip off the wild shoots. We're praying for a nice, shapely bush someday...

Croup

Blane is croupy this morning. Poor baby, I heard him almost gagging in the bathroom this morning. I came out to meet him crying in the hall, saying, "Mom, I can't get it out!" Scott got in the shower and I shut the door and let the bathroom fill with steam. That helped a bit, and of course, he improved after he was up for a while. He doesn't feel bad, but I canceled a doctor's appointment that I had tomorrow because I was going to bring him with me. I'm sure all those new mothers don't want my son spreading his germs (potentially RSV) around.

Writing

Blane wrote his name coherently for the first time yesterday! He has, up until now, not wanted to write, draw or color very much. I never knew why--sometimes he almost acted embarrassed about it. But we have, from time to time, been working on his letters, and yesterday he sat next to me and practiced. Then he wrote it! He was so proud that he wrote his own name on his paper at church last night. Great job, Blaney!

Thanksgiving

Whew, I've been behind! First, an update on Thanksgiving...

The Harndens came up on Tuesday night. They came bearing gifts, since we will not be seeing them for Christmas. Blane was given his main gift that night, primarily so we could all enjoy his reaction. It was a thing of dreams--a silver, remote-controlled Camero, bigger than any car he currently owns.

He stood back from it for a few moments after he opened it, almost too overwhelmed by the size of it. Papa and I loosed the thing from its wire shackles and euphoria settled on my youngest child. With his cheek on the rug, he ran it back and forth on the wooden floor. He was in love, even without the remote control. The battery pack had to be charged, so we plugged it in for the night.

The next morning, we loaded the battery pack in the control panel and let him try it. It was apparent after a few seconds that we would have to keep the controls somewhere far, far away from him until he was bigger. The poor Camero hit every wall and obstacle in its way. We took it back after a minute and Seth had a try. Any guesses as to how that went? Anyway, over the week, we let Blane have it for a few seconds at a time just so we could laugh. The Camero suffered a scratch on the hood and took a chunk out of the baseboard before it was all through. But Blane was not upset with no controls. The happiest moments he has are spent making motor sounds and running that car over the floor by hand.

The subject of gifts leads us to the remaining two boys. Papa and Nana got them a basketball goal! Papa left at 5:45 am on Black Friday to score a great in-ground goal that was heavily discounted. We rolled it out at about 10 am (I apparently messed up the timing of the reveal because I went to Michaels a little after 9 to get some Christmas decorations--whoops!) But everyone was excited, and Papa and Scott spent the rest of the day installing it. Papa dug a hole and poured the concrete around the base, which we have to let cure for a week before we can hoist the top onto the pole. Cousin Ty will be coming over to do that--I ain't touching it!

The rest of our visit was wonderful as always. We had a fine dinner at the Zanders with the all the Z's, Grandma Joanne, Rachel's boyfriend Norman, Michael's secretary Debbie (who attends church with us) and Tea, a German-Jewish lady who is part of the local "group" of friends who fled the Holocaust in their teens. We are blessed.

Flat Zac's still getting around!

Flat Zac has turned up again! This time, he's hanging out with Uncle Dan, Uncle Ben, and cousin Grant.

Sleepover

Zac had his friend Austin come and spend the night last night. Thursday night he was so excited about it that (in typical Zac fashion) he said, "Mom! Austin and I are going to spend about 26 and a half hours together tomorrow." (Er, that is, from 8:10 am Friday at school to about 10:30-11 am Saturday)

Austin came home with us after school and the festivities ensued. The boys played a board game or two, hide and seek, tag and the quiet game, but things soon became rough. Seth was in the mix and the combo of three boys and active games caused sparks. Eventually, they went outside, even though it was about 35 and the wind was blowing. That worked for about 45 minutes, but then Seth came in with bruised feelings and a headache from being worked up. I made him lie down and read. We ate pizza and watched the movie "Cars" with some hot chocolate. Fortunately, everybody was pretty beat after that and went to bed with hardly a peep.

Note to all who have children or might be keeping ours in the future: the TV on Saturday mornings is your best friend, and you should take no chances that your sleep will be disturbed by children who can't figure out how to get to the right channel or might argue about it. We always pick the channel and leave it on (low volume) ALL night so we can sleep like the just (or maybe just the exhausted). So, outside of Blane crying after slipping in his socks at 6:45 am, things went pretty well, as usual. The boys inhaled a huge breakfast of eggs, waffles, cereal and juice and blissfully watched more cartoons. They're playing a board game again like angels right now. All in all, a pretty successful sleepover.

Principal's Office

Seth went to the principal's office the other day. Uh oh.

He said he was "messing" with his friend Ben's stuff, then Ben poked him in the head with a sharpened pencil. I guess the rule is that once you are in a scuffle, you both get sent. Seth said the principal talked to him about not messing with other people's stuff and told Ben that it was dangerous to poke people with sharpened pencils. Good.

I emailed the teacher to get her side of it (still waiting to hear back). We haven't punished him yet (although something will happen) because I would like to determine how much Seth was in the wrong. I'm not sure what "messing" with someone's stuff means...was he just being busy Seth or was he trying to bug him? Or somewhere in between?

Seth, Seth, Seth....

Blane's Renal Ultrasound

Blane went for his yearly renal ultrasound and urology visit today. For those of you who don't know or don't remember, the doctor discovered that his kidneys were dilated with fluid in utero. This is a condition that kids usually grow out of, but sometimes can cause trouble. So we've had him monitored since infancy.

Last year the urologist told me that if he has one more good ultrasound, he would discharge Blane. I have been expecting continued improvement so I was hopeful when we went in today to Children's Mercy. Of course, things always look big and scary on the ultrasound, and I didn't ask the technician, because they really aren't supposed to tell you. But Dr. Murphy came into the appointment very pleased and said we were done! He's still got some slight dilation of his left kidney, but it should not cause a problem.

That makes a trifecta of good medical news for the Harnden family in the last few weeks (headache, OT, kidneys)! We're always thankful for that...

My Helper

Blane LOVES to help me. The other day, Seth was sitting at the bar and Blane was "helping" me with something. I mentioned something about how helpful Blane was and it would be hard to do so many things without him.

"Actually, Mom, I think you could get a lot MORE things done without Blane around," replied Seth. "But, it's nice to have a little brother around."

Amen.

The OT Calls Back

The school OT called back yesterday about Seth. She had gone into his classroom for a while on Wednesday to observe him. She said she did not see him shake when she was there, which means that he does not have a neurological problem. Her guess was anxiety, which makes sense--I see him tremble when he is intent, excited or nervous. I think we'll see him calm down as he matures. She also said she felt like his handwriting was in the normal range for his age/grade.

She also mentioned that he is very squirmy (surprise!). She said she thought for sure he was not absorbing anything the teacher was saying, but then he was able to answer questions when they were asked. She recommended that perhaps he should sit on a bouncy ball or a squishy cushion in order to work out some of that energy. She also mentioned that they could put a gigantic rubber band around the bottom of his chair legs that he could kick at while he sits. Seth sat on a ball last year from time to time, and I told her that worked well. But I also said, any of those options would be good (if I was a first grader and saw one of my classmates sitting on a ball, I'd want one too--and that could be a bit distracting).

All in all, Seth is just Seth--active, excited, intense, high-strung...nothing new here. I'm just glad we don't have anything to worry about.

Seth and his Knees

No, nothing's wrong now with Seth's knees! I just thought I'd tell you about Seth's complete inability to keep fabric covering his knees for very long.

I thought I had gotten Seth taken care of when it came to long pants for the year--he had two or three pairs of jeans and several sets of track pants when school started. Before long, he had ripped, torn or otherwise put holes in nearly all of them, mostly around his knees. Just about every wash day I am Shouting out grass stains in the knees that are left. Holes in the knees can sometimes be a fashion statement, I realize, but not when the wind chill is 5 degrees F.

Until it got cold this last week, he's spent almost every afternoon playing football with Zac in the backyard. That doesn't help. I have gotten him to only wear bad pants out there, but most of the damage was done before we made that change. Now that he's inside the house, he loves to throw a ball in the air and dive for it by sliding on his knees. Well, I don't want to discourage classic boy behavior, but I have asked him not to slide around in his good pants.

Yesterday at church was a classic anecdote for Seth and his holey knees. I ironed his khakis Sunday morning (perfectly fine) and he put them on. We went to Bible class, then church. Right after the service started, Scott pointed to a huge gaping hole in his left knee. I asked Seth about it and he was completely unaware of it until that point in time. What are they doing in Bible class? I thought.

I don't know how he manages to rip holes in his pants during church, but if it was going to happen to anyone, it would be Seth.

Update on Seth

Seth went to the doctor on Friday afternoon to get checked out for his frequent headaches. After a pretty thorough examination, the doctor said she didn't see any warning signs for something serious (whew!) She suggested he drink more water, and if that didn't work, we might have to talk about migranes (yes, even kids his age get them!) So I bought Seth a water bottle to keep on his desk at school and told him this should help with his headaches (nothing like the placebo effect to cure things). But seriously, the water may help. We'll be keeping a diary of any future headaches to see if we can pinpoint specific causes or symptoms.

Thanks for everyone's prayers--we're glad our Sethie is okay!

On the Election

Did I scare you with the post title? Don't worry--as I said, pundrity is not the focus of this blog. My boys are. So staying true to my purpose, I will not analyze the election (no one cares to hear it anyway). But I thought you might want to see my boys through the lens of this most American of events.

We've been talking to our boys about voting and the election. We made the what and the why of our choices known to them, but strongly reminded them how important it was to be respectful of others' choices and viewpoints. After all, some political positions are moral, but many others are amoral---a matter of opinion. And, of the ones that are moral in nature, I think we can become counterproductive sometimes in the way we approach the subject with others. So, to our boys, who go to school in a section of town where the prevailing political sentiment is not ours, we commanded them to stay quiet and not make offensive comments to friends about politics, yard signs or political candidates. Until social filters and graciousness develop further, I think that will have to be our policy.

They did well. On Election Day morning, the boys and I prayed. We asked God to choose the man He had picked for the job.

The man we did not vote for won (not to be too specific or anything!) Lessons to take note of and learn: 1) You can't always win 2) Even though it's hard, it's good NOT to win every time (that's a sure way to get arrogant and lazy) 3) The man in the office of President deserves our honor and respect simply because he's our President. 4) Regardless of politics, it's pretty amazing that we have elected the first black president ever. 5) No matter what, God's still running things. Period

In the days ahead, no doubt we'll have frustrations, fears and disagreements about how our country is being run. We'll talk with our kids about it, as they are able to understand and handle it. Today and always, we will pray for our new president and congressional leaders, and wish them well.

Headaches

Just so you know, Seth has been having frequent headaches this month. He's had to go to the nurse's office a couple of times this month. Sometimes it improves with medicine, but not always. Eating sometimes seems to help too. I scheduled a doctor's appointment for Friday afternoon to get it checked out.

My gut feeling is that things aren't serious--most likely, these are migraines or tension headaches. But the fact that they started so suddenly and are happening often is concerning and needs to be checked out. I'll let everybody know what's up after the appointment. Please keep him in your prayers.

Halloween

I'm breaking with my usual rule about posting pics of the boys, because they're in costume! Do you know who Zac is this year?

Cars and Eternity

My parents were up last weekend. They had been visiting Silver Dollar City and decided to come up for a few days. It's so nice that they're retired now!

While my parents were here, Blane had several questions about death and heaven. I don't know if having visitors rekindled his interest in what happened to Grampy, but he asked me things like, "Will I die on the grass?" or made statements like: "Mom, you'll be old when you die." I answered as truthfully and comfortingly as I could.

Then one day, the conversation moved to heaven. Whether he brought up the topic of heaven on his own or asked a question, I can't remember. But when I told him that one day he'd get to live with God, he said, "No, I don't want to."

Now I perfectly remember thinking as a kid, I know I'm supposed to want to go to heaven, but it sounds really boring to sit around and sing all the time and be with God. I mean, am I going to get to do anything fun? The finer appreciation of God and living with Him came later, of course, but to a concrete thinking child, it's a tough thing to get excited about. I'm sure some version of that was bouncing around in his head. So I tried to make it more relevant for him. You'll have to take some theological license with me, but I couldn't think of a better way to express eternal joy than this:

"Blane, in heaven, you'll get your own room with lots of toys."

He looked unimpressed. "I don't like toys; I only like cars."

Of course. "Well, God made you and He knows how much you love cars. So you'll have your own room with lots and lots of cars to play with."

He seemed to digest that a bit more. Hmmm, maybe that won't be so bad. That ended the end-of-life questions from him. For now.

And God, in His Heaven, smiled down and had a little laugh, I think. I'm sure He's preparing the most glorious "car" Blane can imagine.

Seth and the Tremor

I explained in the last post that Seth has a little "tremor" when he writes. He's had this for quite a while, and in his preschool years, I chalked it up to his intensity. His kindergarten teacher called me last year to discuss it, and the OT made a weighted pencil for him to use. Now that he's doing more writing, it's more noticeable now when he writes and ties his shoe.

I observed him carefully last weekend, and notice that he trembles when he's excited, intent or nervous. When he's relaxed, I don't see it.

Mrs. Owens called me last week and told me she had talked to the OT. Apparently, the upshot is that he's not bad enough to qualify for school help. Mrs. Owens said the OT mentioned an "intentional tremor"--a fancy term for what I described above--being intense when doing something. Scott says I can talk to the OT, but he doesn't think at this point it is worth following up on. So I'll let you know when I talk to her.

Conferences

Last Friday was conference day at the boys' school (no school on conference days). I dropped all the boys off at a friend's house and went to school. I had already gotten their report cards so I had a good idea of what our conferences would cover.



Zac's was first. The teacher sang his praises, and he's doing great in reading and math. She's going to begin providing him with math enrichment and he's in an accelerated reading group.



The funniest thing was her assessment of his nature. We all know our Zac, a man of few words(unless he feels they need to be said). She said, "I have learned so much about Zac from his journal! In class, he hardly ever says anything. He doesn't often participate in a class discussion. I don't know if he's shy, lacks confidence or what. Once I wrote him a note about how much I enjoyed reading his journal. I saw him open it, read it and fold it up and put it in his desk. His expression was flat."



I couldn't help chuckling inside--even though I wished he had thought to thank her later. I explained that Zac talks when he feels like he has something to say (it's pretty much always been that way, this kid of mine who didn't really talk until he was 3. I saw the wheels turning behind those brown eyes, a knowing twist of his mouth when I would talk to him, full comprehension expressed all over his face--but he would not give me the satisfaction of an answer. "Duh, " was all he would say. Well, this is the new "duh"). I explained that Zac usually gives one word answers when you ask him question (you have to ask the right questions to get the information out of him). When I told her about his one word answers when he's on the phone with his grandparents, things fell into place for her. It's just him, a Zac thing.



Organization is a problem, too. His desk has piles. That, unfortunately, is somewhat in the genes and is a skill to be learned. He will.

Oh, he also chews on his pencil excessively. Also in the genes (me).

Now for Seth...I had a pretty good idea of what we were going to talk about before I got in there. Hint...it is the opposite of Zac's "area for improvement".

So sweet Mrs. Owens began her conference asking, "Do you have any concerns or questions about Seth before we get started?" I discussed with her Seth's occasional hand tremor and that we would like the school O.T. to evaluate him. She agreed and told us she would contact her. More on that in a later post.

Seth, she explained, was doing great in reading and especially in math. He's being pulled out of class for math enrichment, just like Zac. Handwriting needs work, in part due to Seth's little shake. He's not forming his letters as well as he should and so she gave me some extra practice sheets for him to work on. Nothing surprising there.

Classroom behavior was the topic I was waiting for, and, as expected, it needs some refining. "Seth has a difficult time with staying in his seat and keeping quiet some days, " she said. (How surprising). "Some days he focuses well and writes really creative things in his journal." She showed me a page. "And then some days, he's off his game." She showed me a page with poor handwriting and an incomplete sentence. "At first, I thought it was just me, so I slipped some paper clips in my pocket one day and moved them to the other pocket whenever Seth got up or spoke out of turn. It was 13 times that day." (Eek.) To refocus him, she sometimes moves him up by her desk.

Competition is also an area where Seth strains the bounds of appropriateness. "He's always the first in, first out with his work. Sometimes the work he turns in is done too fast." (This is an area I can finally not blame on me...apparently, it's all Papa's fault.) She said Seth is often a bit hard in his "judgement" of other peers. I asked if Seth was having problems with other kids. She said, "Not really. It's more that when he wins or completes something, he says things like,' I won!' and other things like that. He just tends to take things one step too far." (Yep, that's Seth's middle name: Seth 'One-Step-too-Far' Harnden)." Oh, this kid of mine!

Seth also keeps her on her toes, always reminding Mrs. Owens of the next thing to do (kind of like a short, button-nosed perky alarm clock). Not necessarily a bad thing, I guess, but very funny.

We decided to enact some positive reinforcement to help each kid with their "areas". Zac and Seth each earn 20 minutes of computer time each day if Zac participates in class and Seth makes it through the day without getting a warning for talking or getting up.

So far, this seems to be working. Zac has been speaking up more in class (and we sent him to school with mechanical pencils so he won't be quite as inclined to gnaw). Seth has gone through two days with no warnings (he gets a little sticky note "report" from the teacher every day).

Seth petulantly wanted to know why he had the hard job and Zac had the easy job. After all, who wouldn't want to talk in class? We had to explain to him that it was hard for Zac to talk in class just like it was hard for him to restrain himself. I don't know if that fully satisfied him, but he hasn't asked since.

Omaha

We just got back from a long weekend trip to Omaha. I had a celiac conference that I was attending, and Scott and the boys came along to go to the zoo, which we had heard was one of the best in the country.

The boys have been talking about this for some time, and were not disappointed. I'll have Scott blog about the time at the zoo, since I was in the conference at that time. But I can talk about the other things that happened.

The drive from KC to Omaha is a bit over 3 hours, through some lovely country, believe it or not. I find northwestern Missouri absolutely charming. The interstate travels along the floodplain of the Missouri, between the river and the bluffs that rise outside the path of the river. The hills were rocky and rolling, and in the midst of changing color. Every so often you saw a sweet red barn, technically in need of a paint job, but perfect in my view. Other things I saw: several McCain-Palin signs, a big "Trust Jesus" and "Choose Life" sign in the middle of a field, and a lovely cemetery on a green hillside that faces the western sun. I could be buried there, I think.

Halfway along the trip, we crossed into Iowa. Now, I've never spent much time in Iowa (never had a reason to!) Iowa seemed to be, well, Iowa. I was neither impressed nor unimpressed with it. I'm sure there is more to see, like the bridges and the rolling fields, Des Moines and all that. We came into Council Bluffs, IA, which is the twin city to Omaha across the Missouri (I was not aware of that until recently--the things you learn when you travel!). Omaha, overall, seemed okay. They had a really nice River Market area. But it is considerably smaller than KC, with a much different, more small town feel. Just for the record, I found Lincoln to be much prettier when we drove through it when moving, but it was summer then.

The conference was in an Embassy Suites in La Vista, a western suburb. The hotel was lovely--a cut above the places we usually stay (we got a deal with the conference). We had a suite, flat screen TV's, a slick bathroom, newspaper in the morning and a complimentary all-out hot buffet breakfast for everyone (GF for the conference, of course). Seth planted himself in a chair when we got there and declared, "I feel like a prince!" You are, baby.

I can't tell you how exciting it was to have a breakfast buffet that we didn't have to worry about for the boys' sake! The hotel did a very nice job, and the second day, Zac pushed back from the table and declared with his usual Zackiness, "That was the best breakfast I've had since I've been here." The boys (especially Seth) loved the Exhibition Hall because they had lots of food samples, mostly sweets and bread. Seth is looking forward to getting the free box of GF corn flakes that he made me sign up for.

It sounds weird, doesn't it, to be so excited about food? But that's how it is, this condition--it circumscribes your life in ways you can't imagine until eating GF becomes necessary. I had a mix of emotions at this conference--fear for our non-celiac family (and myself) because of the way this disease can mask itself completely for years while it does quiet damage, elation that Zac and Seth were diagnosed so quickly that their risk of complications is greatly reduced compared to most celiac adults, sadness to see many crippled, hunched, thin and sickly people there, but encouragement at the large number of very normal, healthy people there as well. One speaker talked about the blessing of a disability--how it makes you more dependent on God, more compassionate, more other-centered. How very true. And the boys aren't sick--no, it's just a condition for them, no more than hay fever is considered an illness. It affects us significantly, no doubt, but it has been a blessing in its own way, for all of us. And if this is the worst that ever happens to us, I'll take celiac, happily throw in across my shoulder and thank God that that's our burden. It is nothing compared to what so many suffer.

More on the zoo from Scott when he gets a chance.

Mr. York

Mr. York came to visit this weekend. He had a free United ticket and was kind enough to come see us out here in the heartland. We hope next time Volyn and the kids can join us--we had a fabulous time.

We dropped the kids off at a friends house and went to Oklahoma Joe's BBQ, which I think might be better than Jack Stack. I think I still have a piece of onion ring lodged in my aorta. But at least I'll die happy.

Saturday, Miss Maddy (the boys' second cousin) came to play while Scott and Rich went to brunch. We took a little trip to downtown and Union Station after Ty picked her up. They were building the annual holiday miniture train setup, so the boys had a great time looking for their favorite engines and sets.

On Sunday, we went to Waldo's after church, which the boys loved, of course. Sunday night was Life Group, but Rich stayed home to unwind while we went. Scott took him to the airport this morning on his way to work.

We had many conversations over the weekend about the split, of course. It's amazing how your perspective changes over time--we analyzed it to death while we were going through it, but did not, of course, have the benefit of hindsight. It is not my intention to re-discuss any details in this blog--doing so accomplishes nothing helpful and bores most of you anyway. What happened happened, and we now live a different life because of it. But it is faith-building to look back now, two + years from those events and see how God led us personally to a better place (in the material sense to some degree, but more in the spiritual and relational sense). The Yorks can say the same thing, as can many of us who lived through it. Scott and I wonder, in some ways, if the split had not been so dramatic, if we would have contemplated a move at all. A sobering thought now.

That is not so say that God did it all so we could personally benefit. I think He had bigger intentions in so decisively swinging the hammer down. Everyone is told their own story, not someone else's, to paraphrase C. S. Lewis' Aslan. But God, in His faithfulness, has provided and guided us to a "spacious country", if you'll indulge a touch of romance. Such a support, such a comfort, to be so intimately cared for...

Them birds is singin', but I can't make out the song...

Seth had been watching a kid's video with Zac the other day. He came to me and said, "Mom, can we please watch the bluebirds?"

Bluebirds....bluebirds...what does that mean in kidspeak? I thought. "Bluebirds?" I repeated.

"Yeah, Mom," he replied. "You know, the part at the end where they show the mess-ups?"

Ohhhhh.....bloopers.

Park Day

Blane has been talking for two weeks about a playdate with Lauren Masters (cue angelic music and fireworks). Blane LOVES Lauren. He can never say just "Lauren"; her first and last name are always attached to each other: "Laurenmasters".

We had to reschedule our first playdate because I had double-booked. I had promised to pull weeds at the church (see a previous post). Anyway, we got it worked out.

The only way Blane really can mark time is by counting how many times he "sleeps" or goes to bed. That's a very concrete marker for him to envision. So he counted down the days to play with Laurenmasters.

The day arrived and we went to the park. Lauren came running from the playground yelling, "BLANE!!!!!"

They played together wonderfully while her mother and I talked and kept her younger sister occupied. They picked berries off a bush and planted them for a while. Then we went to the duck pond. For some reason, Blane climbed off a rock and stepped into the nasty water. I don't know what possessed him to do that--maybe love.

We walked across a narrow neck of the pond on wide concrete posts--we had to step carefully from post to post. I followed Blane to prevent a repeat of stepping in the water--though by the look on his face, I needn't have worried. Then, on the far side of the pond, Lauren and Blane found a huge green bullfrog sitting on a lilypad! They crouched down and watched the froggy for a few minutes, then fed the geese and ducks some pretzels. Blane made the rookie mistake of holding out a pretzel for a big Canada goose, which nearly took his fingers off. From then on, he threw the pretzels.

We went back, ate our lunch together, and let the kids play a bit longer. Then it was time to go. Blane was crestfallen (in part, because another little boy at the park had tried to "scare" them). But mostly, he just couldn't believe it was time to stop playing with Lauren. He had a pout session for a while, and deparately wanted me to buy a toy for him at Goodwill, which is where I went next. I told him no and he melted down. He got over it in time, but it cracked me up that two hours with Laurenmasters wasn't enough for him...

Chiefs Game

Since I last wrote, the older boys and Scott went to a Chiefs game on Sept. 28. A man associated with Scott's clinic had season tickets and didn't want to go that week. Lucky, lucky...the Chiefs just happened to be playing Denver.

I feared a bit for the life and limb of Seth in particular, having to sit in Chiefs territory while cheering for their arch-rivals. He can be loud, obnoxious and rowdy (and he would not even be drunk). But it all worked out okay. Except the Chiefs won, which was a huge shocker.

Seth and the other two guys arrived home--bummed about the game--but safe and sound, limbs intact.

Flat Zac at Big Country Balloon Fest

Flat Isaac is already getting around! Pics From Big Country Balloon Fest in Abilene, TX

Deals Done in the Loo

Yesterday, I got a call from a gastroenterologist at a major pediatric hospital here in town. He had a problem celiac patient that he wanted to refer to me. Now, I shall hereafter refer to this doctor as Dr. Blip, because he did all this on the sly. You see, they have their own dietitians, so, you know, gotta be careful and all that. But, really, I mostly just like writing the word, "Dr. Blip".

Anyway, Dr. Blip calling me was a MAJOR event. To insure that it didn't get messed up by screaming in the background, I took the necessary precautions...go upstairs, and lock the bedroom door (that should keep 'em out!) Dr. Blip and I were talking, things were rocking right along, he was giving me patient info over the phone, I was doing my utmost to sound smart and professional.

From my non-phone ear, I heard an altercation downstairs between Seth and Blane. These occur at 5-minute intervals at our house (I'm almost not exaggerating that much when I say that). I could hear the crying coming closer. So I ran to our bathroom and shut the door (still talking to Dr. Blip).

Now we have no lock on the master bathroom door, of course. I knew that at minimum, Blane would start banging on the bedroom door. More probably, he would rotate the keyhole with his finger and open the door on his own. At that point, I would have to hold the bathroom door shut with one hand.

The worst scenario came true. He breeched the bedroom door and started for the bathroom. He was pulling on the door and crying, "MOOOOOOMMMMM....MOOOOOOOMMMMMM!"

Dr. Blip was in the middle of a fascinating sidebar about a new blood test for celiac. All this while I was barring the door with all my might against a 4 year old and praying the doctor didn't hear the commotion.

Dr. Blip seemed to be unfazed and I did my sales pitch...love to come see you...drop off my referral pads...etc. He laughed a bit and told me in so many words that the situation was a bit delicate for him and he'd call me when he needed me. I was happy with that. Blane still was not.

After I got off the phone, I held Blane and told him he could NOT come in when the door was locked. Ah, the perils of conducting business at home!

Blane's Bad Day

On Friday, I went to a preschool playgroup at church. Blane knew most of the kids and was excited to play with his friends.

We moms were standing around talking when suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a look on Blane's face. The frowny-face, about-to-cry-but-trying-desparately-not-to face. He had been playing with cars very nicely with his friend Grace up to this point. He ran over to my leg and buried his head in it, bursting into tears.

I took him out of the room. "Blane," I said, "what happened?"

He cried for a little while and then managed to sob out the word, "Grace..."

I could not get out of him what exactly happened or what Grace did. I guessed that probably she took his car, but he was too inconsolable to tell me which one. Before long, Grace ran off to play with something else.

(It's always awkward when one of your friend's kids does something to yours. Grace has always been sweet to the Blane in the past. But, they're kids, and things happen...it's not like my kids haven't been grabby before.)

You would think that Grace running off to play with something else would solve the problem. But, you would be wrong.

He just wanted to pout and be sad. Nothing looked fun. I saw him about 10 minutes later slumped in a chair in the play kitchen table, looking like a Dust Bowl mother. The sorrow and isolation continued for half an hour until it was time to go home.

"Mom, I'm having a bad day," he said as we went out to the car.

Apparently, this incident really cut his feelings. I explained that sometimes we have bad days sometimes, but that it gets better.

"Sometimes, girls don't share?" he asked, in that unique way Blane has of confirming great truths of the universe by phrasing them in a question to me.

"Sometimes they don't. Sometimes our friends don't act right, and I'm sorry you are sad. I'm sure it will be better the next time you play. If she takes something, then just come tell me what happened, and we will make sure that everyone plays right."

He was sad all the way home. I asked him if watching a "3-2-1 Penguins" episode would help. He said it would. And it worked.

Lunch with Zacky

Zac asked me to eat lunch with him on Monday. I couldn't come because of Seth, but instead, went today. Zac was so proud to have us (me & B) there. We got to sent at a central table instead of with his class, and Ben, Zac's best friend, sat with us.

The last time I went to eat lunch with one of my children (hint: it was not Zac), I was ignored while the monkey antics went into full swing. This time, we three actually had a conversation, though it went something like this:

Ben: Isaac, do you like hot dogs?

Zac: I can't have hot dogs.

Me (nudging him): Yes you can; you just can't have the bread part.

Zac: Oh, yeah. Not really.

Ben: Isaac, do you like chicken?

Zac: No, I think it's tasteless.

Ben: I think it's tasteless too, unless it has a coating on it.

Me: Zac, even with a coating on it, you don't like chicken.

Zac: (grin)

This went on for several more food items and restaurants. Then, the talk turned to movies.

Ben: Isaac, have you ever seen anything PG-13?

Zac: I don't know.

Me: Well, you saw some of Star Wars: Episode III

Zac: Yeah, I saw Episode III

Ben: I saw the whole thing. But the last part was pretty scary so I had to close my eyes. But I still liked it. The last part was gross.

More 9 year old boy conversation followed. It was pretty cute.

Seth is now wanting me to go to lunch with him. I feign slight offense and tell him that the last time I ate with him he ignored me. He insists he won't do that this time!

We'll see...I might just have to go for the conversation.

Seth is better

Are you surprised?

Swing voter

Seth said today, "Mom, do you know why I'm voting for John McCain?"

I never knew they had lowered the voting age to 7. "Why, Seth?"

"Well, if he wins, he will smash some records."

This I had to hear. "What records, Seth?"

"Well," Seth began, "if he wins, he'll be the oldest guy to be president."

True. "What other records will he smash?"

"And, if he dies, we'll have the first guhrl president."

Also true.

"He'll smash some other records, but I don't know what they are. Zac could tell me. But that's why I'm voting for John McCain."

I'll bet Mac wishes other undecideds were this easy to impress.

Seth is sick

Seth complained of a stomachache last night and he still had it this morning when he woke up. I kept him home today, but he still seems remarkably perky for a sick person. I told him he had to stay on the couch today and no friends. So far, he's complying. He did eat a bit less than normal today, so I don't think it's completely imaginary. If he gets too rambunctious, I'll threaten him with returning him to school.

MMQB's

We went to our Life Group last night and Scott and several of the men ate downstairs in front of the big screen TV, watching the end of the Broncos game (they won, BTW). I have a feeling this will be standard MO this fall for the men in our group.

Anyway, talk at the breakfast table this morning centered around football stats. Scott told me last night that Zac was reeling off his own statistics during the game yesterday. For example: "Dad, by this point in the season last year, the Broncos were 1 and 2, and the Patriots were 3 and 0" (NOTE: I made those stats up. I have no ideas what they really were...but Zac does--so ask him for the correct ones). Scott was amazed he could remember that stuff. I can think of a time when I could remember countless facts too, but that was back before birthing children eroded my grey matter. But...back to the table talk. Zac was discussing the current standings. "The Bills, the Broncos and maybe the Cowboys, are all undefeated," Zac was saying (again, don't hold me to the accuracy of that statement...reduced grey matter and all...) Then I hear this little voice, "What about the Packers?"

I turned around in amazement. "Zac," I said, "did Blane just say that?"

He grinned and said, "Yes."

Ai-yi-yi. Is this how early football mania sets in? I'm sure he was just parroting what he heard, but still...I guess I'd better get used to the fact that during Sunday afternoons in the fall, I'll be on my own. Actually, that sounds pretty good...

MOPS

Blane and I've been going to MOPS this fall--Mothers of Preschoolers. It's a national Christian-based organization, sort of like a social club or support group with a spiritual bent. Anyway, we're part of one at a community church in Olathe, not far from our church. Several of my friends at church are in it, so I decided to try it out. Blane needed some kind of extra social activity, and I don't want to do preschool now.

Blane has loved MOPS since the first day and has been asking when we were going back. Today was the second meeting (they meet bimonthly during the school year). Blane had been talking since the first day about this huge stoplight posted in the stairwell in the kids wing of the church. Today when I opened the door to the stairs, he stared at that stoplight with great uncertainty. "Blane," I said, "Are you scared?"

"No." The voice was not convincing.

"Do you want me to hold your hand when we go down the stairs?"

"Okay." He has shaken himself out of his spook by the time we made it to the bottom floor.

I've been having a great time in the mom's section...we have brunch together, a speaker on a preschool related topic, prayer and discussion time and sometimes a craft. The women are warm and friendly, and it's been a real pleasure to be around them. One of the women is 28 and undergoing chemo for breast cancer. I signed up to take her a meal later this month. Her story has been so inspirational, to see her living out faith in such a raw way. The MOPS moms have really surrounded her with support.

Anyway, I think MOPS will be a blessing to both Blane and me. I knew Blane would love it, but I didn't know I would too!

Ike

I talked to Dad tonight--they cut their Colorado trip short because of Ike. Dad said the house was fine, but Longview won't have power until Friday, and they'll be even longer in getting it back. Of course, Dad had the trusty old generator to fall back on, but all it powers is the freezer, fridge and one light. NO EMAIL! THE HORROR! It's like campin' out in your house.

One of my friends here is from Orange, TX, down near Sabine Pass, where the Sabine drains into the Gulf. It was hit especially hard by flooding. Temple said that her family told her there fish were stranded in the chain link fences, five feet of water in her mom's house and a carp and snakes swimming in her dad's house. She's going to try to get away in the next few days to help with cleanup.

Kansas ain't lookin' too bad right now. At least when we hear the sirens (like we did last Friday), we can casually turn on the TV, practically break out the popcorn and watch the weathermen pinpoint the exact location of the twister. Hurricanes? Yikarooskies.

Dry guy

He made it and earned his hot rod. I think Blane's only had one wet night since. See ya, Pull Ups.

Science and Flag Test

Zacko got 101% on his science test (ask him about plants) and took his test today on the flag. He thinks he missed one, but made it up by answering the extra credit question. Great job, Zac!

Seth's Teacher

Yesterday, on the way home from school, Seth said, "Mom, I'm always the fuhst one to get my mohning wohrk done."

"Seth," I replied, "maybe you should spend more time on it to make sure you are doing a good job. Are you getting it done first because you are racing or because it is easy?"

"It's easy," he sniffed.

When we got home from church on Wednesday night, there was a message from Seth's teacher, Mrs. Owens. Just a routine call, she explained on the voice mail, to all the students parents to update them on their kid's progress.

I called her back. I couldn't wait to hear what she was going to say.

She was just as nice as could be. "Seth's doing great," she said. He is reading quite well. She built Seth up with several positive compliments, but I could tell she was headed towards something. "Seth needs to slow down a little bit with his work." I almost laughed. and told her what he said. "Yes, Seth is very excitable," I replied. I think she was a tad relieved that I didn't get defensive. (it wasn't like she was telling me something I didn't know--this kid came out of the womb looking for a party). She said there was a little group of boys who have been rather lively (guess who's in that pack?) but she's been working them. She even has her answer to Mrs. Ellis' errands--HALL PASSES, and lots of them. Seth is always being sent on little trips to "help out". "They are 6 and 7 years old, and it's hard for them to stay still for a long time," she said (thank the Lord for a teacher who understands little boys!) She also told me that Seth's hand shoots up for every question (guess he knows everything). The school OT is making a weighted pencil for Seth to help him with his writing. His fine motor skills are okay, but could use some honing, as his hand trembles when he focuses on writing, drawing or any small motor task that requires concentration.

All in all, our Sethie is doing a great job in school, just like Zac. I look forward to the October conferences to get more details from the boys' school years.

Royal (dreams) Flush(ed)

Seth is something else. But you knew that already. He is fun, creative, expressive, emoting and jolly...but his all-heart personality has its struggles from time to time.

When my parents were here, Seth had a cold. Nothing terrible, but enough to get him snotty and coughing from the drainage. I sent him to school that Monday because he didn't seem to feel very bad. I got a call mid-day from the nurse. Seth was complaining of a stomachache and was sitting in her office. I headed up there.

I could tell from Seth's eyes when I walked in the nurses office that he didn't feel good. So I signed him out and we went home. I told Seth that coming home from school was a big deal and if we were going to do this, he was going to be in bed or at least resting for the rest of the day (hey, we can't be doing this every week!) He agreed, and spent most of the afternoon on the couch watching a cartoons (1 hour) or reading, his barf pot at his side. Towards late afternoon, he was feeling significantly better.

Now, Uncle Michael and Aunt Pammy had given us four tickets for a Royals game that night. Originally, Scott, my dad and the older two boys were going to go. But Scott called me from work, sick with Seth's cold, and told me he didn't feel up to going. Of course, Seth was now out of commission, and I had to attend Back to School Night that evening to get info from the boys teachers. So, as it turned out, my mom and dad were going to take Zac to the game.

I left for BTSN and called my mom on the way there to discuss the plan for exchanging cars, since I had left before Scott got home. Mom told me that Seth wanted to talk to me about going to the Royals Game.

"I told him you would say no," she said to me.

"Put him on," I replied.

"Mom," came the little munchkin voice, "I'm feeling much better. Can I PLEASE go to the Royals game?"

I explained to Seth again the little deal we had made.

One thing I hate about cell phones is the awful feedback you sometimes get. Unfortunately, Seth and I were experiencing some feedback. He began to plead in a louder voice,"PLEASE MOM! I'm feeling MUCH BETTER!!" I said no several more times, but it was difficult for him to hear me as he escalated, pleading frantically. Embarrassing too...there I was in front of the school saying "SETH!" loudly into the phone because he couldn't even hear me over his own hysterics. Finally he hung up on me in great sorrow (not disrespectfully--he doesn't know that's a rude thing to do). My mom said he wailed outside for about 10 minutes.

He got over it. But hopefully, he'll use his sick passes carefully and sparingly for the rest of the year.

Dry nights

The other morning, Blane woke up with dry pull-ups. Words cannot describe how excited I was, given my genetics. Figuring this was my big shot, I told him he could earn a hot rod if he stayed dry five nights. Later, I added more incentive by telling him I would get him a little car for every night up to five that he was dry.

He was a man motivated. The first morning he burst into our bedroom at 4:30am to announce that he was dry! We told him to go back to bed, but of course, made a big deal about it come morning. He earned cars, and we got up to four nights by yesterday, the eve of the big hot-rod debut.

I was consigning clothes yesterday with my friend who is running a big kids' sale at the Holiday Inn in Olathe. I took Blane out there with me, and while I was hanging up the clothes, Blane found a white hot-rod in the toys section. He slobbered over it for a while, then obediently put it back when it was time to go. So of course, when I went back last night for the pre-sale, I picked that sucker up (it was only a $1). I went home and told him this was the hot-rod he would get if he stayed dry one more night. He excitedly placed it on his dresser by the Hummer, so he could look at it, even if he couldn't play with it.

Well, excitement has a way of distracting people, and Blane was no different. He forgot to go to the bathroom before bed. I heard him sobbing in the bathroom this morning and knew what had happened. Poor baby! I hugged him and told him that I'm sure he would be dry tonight. He was so brokenhearted that he wouldn't get his hot-rod today! It took some steeling to keep from handing him that car. But he has to earn it.

Look for the hot rod update soon...

Fur shaver

Several weeks ago, Blane asked me about Scott's razor.

"What does that do?" I asked.

Promptly he answered, "It cuts off daddy's fur!"

Grampy

It's been a while, but most of you know what's been going on around here. We had a visit from Mom and Dad towards the end of August, and Grampy, Scott's grandfather, passed away on August 26. Things have been busy to say the least!

About Grampy... this was the "first death" for the kids--you know, someone they actually had seen and knew. Of course, what they knew mostly was Grampy in his wheelchair at the nursing home. Grampy lived 91 years, and had Alzheimer's for about the past 9 of those. The boys weren't around for any of the cogent part of his life. Nevertheless, I think Grampy, in their minds, was an old, sweet grandpa who didn't say much, but was comfortingly there in the background when they visited Nana and Papa. He handed out hats and had a remote-controlled pig. Not a bad way to remember your great grandfather.

Shortly after we learned about his passing I picked the boys up from school. I had let Zac know the day before that he was soon to die. When I told the guys, Seth was sweetly distressed for a few minutes. "He died?" he said compassionately. I explained that he was very old and sick, and now he was in heaven with Jesus. Later, Blane--who always processes things by asking numerous questions--asked if we were going to get a new Grampy.

Funeral and visitation were held here. The visitation was very well attended. We took the boys up to the casket and let them look at him for a bit. I don't know what they thought of him. To me, even the nicest prepared body never looks quite right. But...the person isn't there any more. Maybe it's best that way.

The guys handled that fine and ended up playing quietly in a pew with their third cousin Ian.

For the funeral on Saturday, Scott had prepared some remarks on behalf of the grandchildren. The plan was for me to stay in the back of the church auditorium with Seth and Blane, who we seriously doubted could make it through the funeral without loud whispering or fidgeting. Zac sat up front with the family.

Scott had a lovely address, as did Mack, Gram and Grampy's oldest son. We drove out to the cemetary on a flawless summer day--bright sunshine, no clouds, perfect temperature. My tears came at the 12 gun salute (I had to cover Blane's ears) and the presentation to the widow of the folded flag.

We finished the weekend with the extended family and had a beautiful time. Ironically, there is often no more sweeter time for family fellowship than funerals. At the end, we took a picture of the family, 30 strong.

This week, Blane prayed at dinner. It went something like this:

"Dear God,
Thank you that we had a good day today,
Thank you for the food.
Thank you that Grampy doesn't have to die anymore.
Thank you that we are having cornbread.

In Jesus name, Amen"

A House Divided...

Well, you just can't get away from politics.

Last week, Zac, my mom and Seth, were sitting in the living room. I can't remember what brought the subject up, but the discussion turned political.

Now, most of you know the way the political winds blow in our house, but fear not--punditry is beyond the scope of THIS blog. Rather, I report on Boy Happenings at our house, and what follows is classic.

Perhaps it was one of the kid's presidential biographies we had gotten from the library which started the convo. At any rate, the kids started talking about the presidential race.


"Well, I'm for Barack Obama," declared Seth. Amused, we asked Seth why.

"I think John McCain brags too much in his commuhshul." We gently explained that is what political commercials do.

Zac stated with his usual calm matter-of-factness that he was for John McCain. "Barack Obama will raise your taxes," said Zac.

"No he won't!" Seth replied emphatically.

My two sons--the cold, calculating Republican or the bleeding-heart liberal...choose your stereotype.

Blane is clear

Good news--the doctor called me back yesterday to report that Blane's celiac blood panel is once again negative. We've had three clear tests since year 1, so I think we'll move to less frequent testing now. Thank you, Lord!

Blane's Birthday

Blane's birthday was last Sunday; Mom and Dad were here so we had a little family party. We went to Waldo's Pizza after church(they serve gluten-free pizza there in addition to regular). Blane wore his birthday hat from Bible class through the whole meal. Then it was home for ice cream cake. I made a "road" on top of the cake with chocolate sprinkles and put three new Hot Wheels on the blacktop. Unfortunately, there was more enthusiasm for the idea of a car cake than the actual eating of it (the adults all enjoyed it, however). Blane opened his presents (cars all, of varying sizes), then later received a visit from Grandma (Susie's mom) and Aunt Pammy. Grandma's present was a big hit---a car playmat complete with a set of cars! Blane spent hours playing with his motor vehicles and Scott made Seth spend most of the day in a different room than Blane as an extra gift to Mr. B. All in all, this was probably the most exhilarating day my little guy can remember in his short life.

Splinter

Blane came in yesterday afternoon with a huge spinter stuck in his right ring finger. He got it from the wooden benches outside. We're not sure exactly how he managed to get it in the way he did--it was nearly 1/4 inch long and traversed across the pad of his fingertip, just under the skin.

Scott was going to remove it, but just couldn't do it in the end. The splinter was completely under the skin--no end to grab, and he was going to have to open up a place just to have a chance to remove it. He just couldn't hurt his little boy!

This morning I took Blane to the doctor right after we dropped the boys off for school. Our pediatrician has urgent care hours in the early mornings and early evenings, which have taken advantage of on more than one occasion. It seems silly to take a child in to remove a splinter, but I just couldn't leave it in there until his well-check next Monday.

We got called back, checked in, and then the P.A. went to work on the offending piece of wood. That little boy of mine hardly uttered a peep as she opened up his finger and dragged out the splinter in three pieces! He talked to her about how he got the splinter, watched the whole thing and barely flinched.

For some reason, Blane has never really had trouble with needlesticks or even most vaccinations. I don't know what the difference is for him, but I hope he'll continue to be a cool customer when it comes to medical issues.

Glasses Crisis

Friday night we washed our windows. I'm sure you can think of much more exciting things to do at the start of your weekend, but they were horribly dirty, and Scott had reached his limit. Scott had bought the outside window cleaner that you attach to the hose (and everyone knows, if you have a squirting hose, fun is bound to break out). The boys got soaked, to their collective delight (even though Blane got a little too wet for his comfort at the end).

We came in to watch the Olympics at dusk. At that point, Zac realized his glasses were missing. Usually that just means he left them upstairs on on the bookshelf in the living room. Problem was, he had worn them outside, and there was some monkey business going on between Zac and Seth out there that involved removing the glasses. Uh oh.

Zac looked inside and outside--no glasses. We told him he would have to replace the frames with his own money if he could not find them (it's almost time for his eye exam, so we are going to pick up the tab for the lenses, of course). Poor Zac was fighting back tears all night.

Saturday came and went--the glasses did not show up. Even in the daylight, we could not find them outside. Zac wore his 2-year-old backup glasses to church Sunday morning.

Sunday afternoon, little Blane trots inside holding Zac's glasses! We asked Blane to show us where he found them. Blane took us to the ladder on the side of the swing set (to the monkey bars). Not good! We talked to Zac about responsibility in keeping up with his stuff, but we all were relieved.

Leave it to Blane to scout things out! I think it helps to see the world at munchkin-level sometimes.

First Day of School

Today the kids went back to school (half-day only). I thought it would never happen.

I heard Seth stirring around 6:45 am. He came in to our bedroom fully dressed and ready to go. He hopped in bed with me and began talking (what else?)
-
"Mom, it was really WEIHD. I woke up at two-thuddy, and three, and at fohr-thuddy..."

"Well, Seth," sez I, "you were really excited about school starting."

"No, Mom! I wasn't excited!" Then he popped out of bed and ran to Zac's room.

"SCHOOL AY-LURHT! SCHOOL AY-LURHT! SCHOOL AY-LURHT!" he shouts in a monotone "robot" voice while ripping covers off of and jumping on his not-fully-awake brother.

Yeah right.

Zac quietly sparkled all the way to school (I think you know what I mean). His excitement shows in different ways. He could hardly have been happier with being a newly-minted third grader. Three of his good buddies are in his class. Plus, he's learning long division this year (he's actually excited about that).

I picked the guys up at 12:30. I stood out front and watched all the 1st grade classes come out and Seth's teacher walking down the sidewalk with a student in hand. No Seth. Zac arrived by my side, then said he would go check a possible meeting place where Seth might have gone. No Seth. He went to another place on the other side of the school. No Seth. I wasn't really worried that anything had happened to him, but I knew that panic for him must be building as the minutes went by. I caught Seth's teacher when she returned and she told me Seth was waiting for his brother in the classroom with the aide. Oh.

Zac went in and appeared in a couple of minutes with a teary-faced Seth. I hugged him and told him that I would never leave without him and everything was okay. "Daddy's plan didn't WORHK!" he wailed. Apparently I didn't hear Scott tell Seth last night to wait in the classroom for Zac (I had previously told him to come outside). Whoops! Poor baby! We got it all straightened out and Seth will meet Zac outside from now on.

We got home and the boys emptied their backpacks. There are always plenty of forms to sign at the beginning of school. I went through all of Seth's papers and put them back in his folder. Zac pulled his folder out, which was soaked in one corner. I asked him what happened; he didn't know (we later discovered that Zac had left his water bottle spout open and upside down in his lunch bag). So he had to spread all the papers out on his bed before we could deal with them. He was so cute about an hour later, as he would bring me papers so deliberately, one by one, saying, "Here's a paper for you, Mom!" Zac loves the start of school.

We have another half-day tomorrow, then full days start next week. Here we go!

No problem too small for the Almighty

A conversation between Blane and me:

Blane: Mom, does God have big hands?

Me (wondering why he was asking): Yes, I guess so.

Blane: Can he get balls off of roofs?

Me (thinking, "Aha!"): Do you have a ball that you need to get off a roof?

Blane: No, I don't have to get a ball off a roof.

(Of course. He just wants to store this piece of info away in case he ever needs it--you never know when you might need to ask the LORD to get your ball off the roof)

Me: Well, I suppose God can do that.

The End

Opening ceremony

Friday night we watched the opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics. I have fond memories as a kid watching the Games, and remember seeing some of those classic moments, like the '84 men's and women's gymnastic teams and the skating accomplishments of Boitano and Hamilton (was that '84 too?) Anyway, it was a great lesson for all of us in geography and geopolitics--plus it was stinkin' fun to watch. At the end, when they had the pictures of all the world's children out on the field (weren't they projected up on the rim of the stadium too?), Zac said, "Hey, maybe we'll see somebody we know!" Yeah, maybe!

The show was jaw-dropping, of course, and we let the guys stay up as long as they could to watch the parade of nations. The American delegation took a bit too long, but we called the still-awake Zac down to see them come in.

A bit more delicate was how to explain to the kids appropriately about Communist China. (Scott and I got creepy Soviet flashbacks when the soldiers goose-stepped the Chinese flag to the pole). I am of the opinion that we should never be ambivalent towards the evils of Communism, though it is shockingly easy to do since the Cold War ended. But how do you explain that to your kids?

We told the boys that there are some bad leaders in China who hurt and try to get rid of people who disagree with them or don't worship in churches they like. We also told them that the people there don't have the freedom we do, and we should be very thankful that we live in America. Hopefully those little tidbits of civil and global education will be fused together one day. In the meantime, it's been great fun to watch Michael Phelps kick everybody in the swim trunks.

Scary

Lately, Blane has been asking me about how he came about (not the B & B discussion, just about babies in mommie's tummies, etc.) I told him once that when he came out I was so happy that God had given me a Blaney, and he's really internalized that. He'll say, "Mom, God gave you a Blaney, and you were so happy!" to which I reply, "Yes, Blane, I was SO happy!"

The other day, we were talking about how my tummy was big at his birth.

"Mom, when your tummy was little, I came out?"

"No, Blane, my tummy was big when you came out. Then it got little."

Intense thought. "Did something in there scare me?"

School prep

School starts in one week! It's a good thing, because the boys are about to kill each other. Blane and Seth spend the majority of their days in separate rooms by my edict.

The other day, we went to Kmart to shop for Seth's backpack (his Superman one tore last year). He had specifically requested a green one. Kmart is not my favorite store, but it is close to our house and I did not have the stomach to drive to Walmart or Target AND do grocery shopping with the boys (remember my rule about only one store with boys if you can help it?)

Fortunately, we found some backpacks that were on sale (that put them within a reasonable price range--can anyone tell me why Kmart seems to have high prices along with their crummy stores?) Seth found a cool-looking green one that looked to have a longer life span than his Superman one last year. Lunchboxes were on sale too, so we took a peek at those. Seth chose a Batman one (yep--on sale too). The lunchbox apparently was trying to impersonate the Dark K. on his own. Except it came out looking squatty and out of shape--it's a lunchbox, after all. It had the Bat logo on its little gray "chest" and its utility belt (the bottom of the lunchbox) unzipped all around so you could slide a cold pack in. The "buckle" of the belt was a little tiny zippered pouch for lunch money. The funniest part was that the thing had it's own little cape on the top that flops over the handle. Scott, Zac and I took bets later how long the cape will last--we decided anywhere from 1 week to 1 month. I don't know what the people at Thermos were thinking. Anyway, it all makes for a cute selling package, which is all they really care about, I suppose.

Seth was pumped up and messed with the lunchbox features for a while. Now it is sitting in his room and waiting to carry his food to school. Woo hah!

Birthday Cars

Have I ever mentioned that Blane loves cars?

For over a month (pretty much ever since he has learned how close his birthday is) Blane has missed no opportunity to tell me that he wants cars for his cumpleanos. For instance:

-There is a large end-display of Hot Wheels at HyVee. He runs to them every time, pointing out the ones he likes.

-He saw a 1986 production of "Ralph S. Mouse" which featured a toy sports car (that the mouse drove--just like in "The Mouse and the Motorcycle"). He wants that car.

-He's asked me for a new hot rod more times than I can remember. He even has specs--black, and doors that open.

-He says that the family members coming to his birthday party will bring him a "box of Sallies" ("Sally" is what he calls a VW beetle--he has several as it is)

-He saw a crashed van on the cover of a book. He said, "I want that car for my birthday".

For the most part, I've been trying to tamp down expectations. Yes, you'll get cars for your birthday, but we'll have to see what kind they will be. No, you won't be getting a box of Sallies for your birthday. No, that car is too much money. Etc.

Us finding the balance between healthy delayed gratification and needlessly feeding greed is starting early with this one.

Uncle Jay

Uncle Jay arrived Saturday evening in his big yellow truck. Everyone was excited to see him (and Blane stared at the yellow truck for a while from his window-perch). All weekend I found the guys snuggled up next to him, showing him things (Seth was especially insistant on showing him his Linerider game online--that's where you draw all kinds of nonsense on the screen and watch a little guy in a scarf and a sled slide helplessly down your creation) and just hanging out with him. They all watched a classic football 2003 divisional playoff or something on the NFL network. Just like old times! Except poor Jay was sleepy by 8:30 and had to go to bed.

After church on Sunday, we had some family over for pulled pork sandwiches and limeade pie. The boys ate chips only as their palates were too refined for BBQ pork, coleslaw, honeydew melon, deviled eggs and pie filling (all GF, delicious and available for the eating). I continued to refer Seth to the bounty of food sitting on our kitchen island every time he said he was hungry and wanted more to eat.

Later the guys, Scott and Jay went down to the pool and played a little tennis. Sunday night was low-key (no Life-group this week) and Jay went out to visit Ty and one of his med-school friends. This morning, he pulled out at about 8:45 am, bound for the West in his Penske truck. I can't say I wasn't a little wistful, having been in Jay's shoes at least twice over the last 13 years, but I can't be truly envious. We're all excited for Jay's new job in SLC and are praying for safe passage.

Fundah-stohms

We were talking about thunderstorms at the table this weekend and I repeated Seth's pronunciation of "Fun-duh" (thunder) at the table.

"No, Mom," he corrected, "it's not fun-dah, it's FUN-dah!"

Glad he cleared that up!

Hot Rods and Birthday Cars

Friday the Harndens arrived for a quick stay-over before getting on a plane to Denver Saturday morning. They were going to visit friends and family for a few days before meeting Jay in Salt Lake and helping him move into his new apartment there.

Papa drove up in his black BMW this time (usually they bring Susie's Accord). Blane's face was a mix of puzzlement, mild disapproval and suspicion when they drove up--they weren't in the right car! He had to digest the car change for a little while but soon stood in awe of Papa's "hot rod". Even better was the fact that Papa's hot rod was going to stay in our garage for a week. After we got back from the airport on Saturday, he sat in it for a few moments along with the other boys. He really wanted to ride in it, but will probably have to wait until Papa gets back next weekend.

Later, Nana gave Blane his birthday present (one month early). Seth had been stoking Blane up about his birthday present, and of course, Blane has been openly campaigning for cars for his birthday. Naturally, he expected a bevy of brightly colored "Sallies" (VW beetles), but instead got clothes, a CD Rom Game and a Tonka Truck movie. His lack of enthusiasm was obvious, though he didn't complain. Even the fact that Lightning McQueen was on one of his shirts wasn't quite enough to staunch the disappointment. He said the requisite thank you and ran off to play. We all got a good laugh.

The Tonka Truck movie went over well on Sunday when he actually watched it. I guess his car dreams will have to wait until August 24th.

Game Night with Zac

Thursday night, the Zanders' called with 2 extra tickets to the Royals game. It was Seth's turn to go, so we got him gussied up with a backpack for all his necessities (apple juice in a cooler bag and a transformer in case he got bored).

After Seth and Scott left, I marveled in how quiet the house was. I had promised some Noggin to Blane, so he lost himself in Diego, or the Backyardigans or Wubsy--I can't remember--while Zac and I decided to play Last Word. Zac won and asked if he could stay up until Seth got home. Why not, I thought.

Blane wanted to stay up too, but of course, I said no. He cried about the fact that Seth was not going to be in the upper bunk. "I won't have anyone to play wiiiithhh..." he wailed. I pointed out that he wouldn't actually be able to play with anyone when he was in bed, but that didn't help. Zac and I tucked him in with his cars anyway, left the light on at his request and went downstairs.

We decided to play Life. We started off on our paths, and I went from being a police officer, to a salesman to a vet (the vet school must have been vo-tech, because it took me about 2 rolls to go through it and only cost 50K--what a deal!) Zac ended up as an accountant, but got his pants sued off by his mom (let the record show that this was in retaliation for Zac bankrupting his mother WITHOUT MERCY in Monopoly and leaving her only a cardboard box to live in near Baltic Ave). I beat him in the end with 1.4 mil--lucky me this time.

Zac is such a pleasant companion. I love playing games with him and seeing him deliberate and think things through. We talk and joke and have a great time together. These are the evenings that I will remember--just the intense pleasure and satisfaction of seeing your son growing, a little glimpse of the man he will become. What a treat for me!

Firemen in Westcliffe

Patty sent us a clipping from the local Westcliffe paper. Two of the firemen had minor injuries from the fireworks accident, but no one was seriously hurt, thankfully. Good news!

Card

Last night, when we got home from church, Scott told me something funny. On Wednesday nights this summer, they've had "Family Nights" where families have bonding activities like a scavenger hunt, science night, ice cream night etc. Last night they did a service project, which involved "tying a bunch of knots in blankets for girls" per Seth. They also made cards, and Scott told me that Seth made the following card.

Front: Seth McCord Harnden

Hello, ladies!

Inside: I love you.

Should we be worried?

Day 4

Now Blane is sticking his face in the water for his swimming teacher. Seth says he's doing better than he ever has before with his swimming (which is true). He's now jumping in and going all the way under. Both the boys are doing great, and if you add in Zac's diving board jumps, it's been a swimming milestone week at our house!

Diving Board

Yesterday Seth and Blane (!) started swimming lessons (second session for Seth). We lucked out that the boys are the only two kids in the class! Seth is definitely feeling more comfortable in the water--he jumped in several times and went all the way under. He even told Scott later that going underwater wasn't so bad "as long as you know about it". As opposed to going under against your will or accidentally, I guess.

Blane did great and charmed his teacher. I don't think she usually has students that young. He told her about every bug in the pool, which she had to remove so he would pay attention to her. He kicked and blew bubbles and halfway put his face in the water. Not too bad for his first time.

Zac sat out and watched the whole thing. The pool opened right after their lesson and I told the boys we could stay. Zac took off as usual. I generally glimpse him every few minutes somewhere towards the deeper end of the pool (don't worry, there are lifeguards there). He's really been self-motivated to try some new things, and yesterday he decided that he wanted to go off the diving board.

"Zac," I said, "you know you're going to go pretty deep when you jump off the board. Maybe you should practice going deep."

He pushed down from the side of the pool to the bottom and swam back up several times. Then he decided to jump from the side. After a couple of wet runs (wow, I was trying to be cute but that sounds really bad!), it was board time. He got up there, contemplated his decision, and went off the side of the board. After he got comfortable with that, he went off the front of the board (which is really the same as the side of the board, but somehow seems more scary, of course). Then he started doing cannonballs. Seth was quite impressed (so was I). So now, he's added one more skill to his repertoire.

"You're getting huuuungrrryyyy......"

On Sunday after we got home from church, Seth came into the kitchen.

"Mom, can I have one of those 'hypnotizers'?"

I was stumped by that one. "A what?"

"You know," he said, "the thing you eat before lunch so you won't be as hungry."

"Oh..." I replied, "you mean an 'appetizer.'"

"Yes, that's it."

As I didn't have any crudites on hand, he had to just suffer until I got lunch on the table 20 minutes later.

Ahem.

I don't mean to have a run on Seth stories--but lately, he's the one who's been giving me the most material.

This morning, Seth had a tiny notepad and a pencil. He asked me how to spell several words. When I asked him if I could see what he was writing, he grinned and said, "Mom! You can't read my diarrhea!"

He did relent after a few minutes and proudly showed me what he wrote:

"15-2008 (I explained it was the 17th, but he left it as is)

Zac fd (found) Blane plane (playing) with my cars."

"SETH!"

I've decided I need a bullhorn that bellows,"SEEEETHHHHHHHH!" We went to the grocery store today, and I can't count how many times I said his name.

"Seth, don't climb on that."
"Seth, get down."
"No, Seth."
"Seth!"
"Seth, put that back."
"Seth, leave your brother alone."
"Seth, come stand by me."
"Seth...Seth!...SETH!"

Maybe I need a cattle prod instead.

I'm Melting! I'm Mellltiiiiingggg......!

We got back from the pool yesterday and I HAD to cut the boys' hair because it was getting too long and shaggy. Consequently, we ended up watching "Spy Kids" movie on TV. I got everyone shaved up and they continued their glassy-eyed viewing.

But...it was about five, and we had to shut it off at 5:30 because the house was a disaster. I thought it would be over, but I was wrong.

"Sorry, boys, we have to turn it off," I said. Seth did not take it well. He got stiff and screamed like a 2 year old. I sent him to his room to calm down. He stopped screaming pretty fast, but he was far from done.

I told everyone it was cleaning time. Mt. Penatubo sent up an indignant plume of lava because I had made a "HUGE MESS!" on his floor from the books. Most of them were already in the shelf, but ancient junk from underneath and behind his shelf had been pulled out. I told him I would put up the books, but the junk was his and he needed to trash it. More ash and smoke followed.

I heard the eruptions from downstairs. Unsurprisingly, he yelled, "MOM, I HAVE A HEADACHE!!" As upset as he was, I have no doubt that he really did. He had worked himself up big time by now as we were going on 20 minutes of venting. I told him he could lie down, but he still had to finish the room.

He rested and then came downstairs and took some Tylenol. Things weren't much better down here, AND his two brothers were around. He lamented having to pick up all his Legos, got into a fight with Zac over some disputed pieces which ended up with both boys crying and screaming. More yelling by me followed.

That was about it--Daddy came home and everyone eventually calmed down (including me). Daddies are marvelous things sometimes for the peace of the household.

Library Fuss

I had promised the boys we would swim yesterday, so I had set aside the afternoon in anticipation of this very exciting event. However, we had library books due yesterday. Everyone was ready: swimsuits on, towels at the ready, sunblock thickly applied. But...oh no! Two of the library books were nowhere to be found.

"We have to find them, guys," I sighed. We looked under beds and couches--no luck. I quickly rifled through some bookshelves. Nope, not there.

"Okay guys, we have to find these. We need to deep-clean the bonus room," I said firmly.

Zac was crushed and cried softly as he poked around the bonus room. He was too upset to be effective. I told him nicely to buck up (am I mean?). Seth said, "Can't we just re-check them out?" I refused, stating that we would be in the same pickle in two weeks if we did that. Blane toodled around and was oblivious, but out of the way.

I finally ended up pulling out all the books in Seth and Blane's disaster of a bookshelf and put them in one by one. The first book we found was crammed behind the bookshelf and I found the last one after I had replaced almost all the books.

Everyone was relieved. We got in the car and had a short talk about responsibility and how it sometimes cuts into our fun, but ultimately makes us feel the best.

Got to the pool, and everyone had a great time as usual!