How to Build the Pentagon in Four Hours

One of the big 3rd grade projects of the year is the building of Washington D.C. All three classes spend 3 days with foam core, hot glue guns, scissors, copious amounts of tempera paint and a little ingenuity to build most of the major landmarks in the District. Of course, the teachers need all hands on deck, so parents sign up for blocks of time when they can help the kiddos.

I had signed up to help Zac's group on Wednesday for about 3 hours. Fortunately, Zac and his compadres were assigned the Pentagon--better than something more obscure (Bureau of Engraving and Printing--anyone know what THAT looks like?). On the other hand, it was among the most complex of the buildings, for obvious reasons. On Monday, the basic structure had been constructed and painted by another parent. The boys had helpfully made a parking lot complete with stripes, a marbled entryway and a partitioned off a bathroom (about 1/10 of the entire building). They were yipped up to make a toilet for it when I got there.

It took a little while to figure out where all the supplies were. We were out in the hallway because of space limitations, along with several other groups. We had few outlets for the glue guns and had to squeeze everything against the wall to stay out of people's way. I delegated tasks and encouraged them to choose aspects to highlight that actually taught us about the Pentagon. So we dropped the toilet plans for a while and make a monitoring room with six screens, an office, the 9/11 memorial, and the helipad. By the time we cleaned up, we had made pretty good progress. One of the kiddos was a whiz at finding stuff on the Internet to print off and cut out (the school had a hallway cart with multiple laptops and wireless access which was very helpful). Even better, the boys were able to secure a dollhouse toilet and pedestal sink from the teacher to furnish their bathroom. Our internet whiz kid printed off a tiny newspaper for the Lego man to read when he vists the john.

I decided to come back for about an hour today to get the kids finished up. When I got there, Lego man was already on the potty reading his paper. I lost count of how many third grade boys walked by and were highly impressed by this aspect of the Pentagon. We created a satelite dish, a colonaded outside entry and placed the cafeteria in the appropriate place in the building. We were done! The guys proudly placed their masterpiece in the appropriate spot and I stole a look at several other building scattered around the rooms. The children were amazingly creative and I look forward to seeing the finished product at Open House night!

Texas Christmas

I'm finally getting around to writing about our trip to Texas--2 weeks after the fact. I'm nothing if not prompt. Anyway, we left on the afternoon of the 31st (after finding out that morning that the car had a huge transmission leak--Merry Christmas!) We got out of town at a good time, though and stopped for the night at a Ramada Inn on the south side of Oklahoma City. It wasn't great digs but it was adequate (let's just say the pictures on the Internet were much better than the reality). They did have a good hot buffet in the morning which we all enjoyed. We got a leisurely start at about 9:30 and pulled into Tom and Bethany's driveway a little after 1 pm on the 1st. The sun was shining, it was 60 beautiful degrees, and I soaked it up (it's been a cold start to our winter). Everybody was there except for Ben and Liz. Kamryn had been throwing up that morning and Ben called from the ER to tell us they were admitting her. Fortunately, an hour or two later, he called to tell us that after fluids she revived and they had cleared her of any diseases. As it turned out, she got sick from a mislabeled alternative med that she had been taking for sinus stuff. Ben informed the company, heads rolled and B & L will never be using that stuff again! Kam's fine now--no worse for the wear, but it was scary. Ben and Grant came a few hours later.

We enjoyed a great day and supper together that night. With all the sickness and upheaval (no pun intended) at Ben and Liz's house, everyone decided to crash at Tom and Bethany's. Stewart very graciously gave us his room. We packed ourselves quite nicely in there--Scott and I were on the bed, and the blowup mattress with boys filled up the rest of the floor.

The next day we had a great breakfast courtesy of Tom. We had decided to take the light rail from Fort Worth to Dallas, just for the sheer experience of it, and see a train exhibit at Northpark Mall. The boys were thrilled to be riding the double decker train, and though the scenery was pretty industrial, we all had a fun time click-clackin' down the track. We met up with Ben and Grant at the mall, ate lunch and saw the train exhibit. We ambled back down to the train station just in time to catch our train, but had a little mix-up--we all thought Grandaddy was on the lower deck of the station looking at something when the train pulled up. While we were searching for him, the train left without everyone...except Granddaddy! He thought we were on the train and had slipped on. We waited for the next train and met up with him at Union Station. Our next connection didn't leave for an hour, so we went down to the Kennedy Memorial, saw the window in the Texas Book Depository from which Lee Harvey Oswald shot the President and the little "X"s" on the pavement which marked the first and second shot. The grassy knoll was nondescript and has been overshadowed by the memorial, so there wasn't much there to investigate. We hung out at a little colonade built in the 30's by the WPA and watch a street performer with dreadlocks perform. His girlfriend was twirling this little dirty rubber pizza crust to the beat. Don't ask me why. All in all, it made for a weirdly engaging show. We gave him money just because it was a beautiful day and that girl could make that rubber pizza do anything.

We caught our train with everybody safely on board, though we had to stand for most of the trip as it was rush hour. We got home, ate Mexican and played our favorite pictionary/telephone game (you write a phrase and pass it around, having everyone alternate pictures or phases to describe it and it gets hillariously muddled in the process).

The next day, Dan, our family and Mom and Dad headed for Hallsville. We stopped in Frisco to see Ben and Liz, since we hadn't seen Liz and Kamryn all weekend. Kam was perky and feeling fine. We took a family picture and then it was off to East Texas. Mom and Dad had to get back by afternoon because the wound care nurse was scheduled to dress the brown recluse wound. We took a little more time getting back...we ate at Pei Wei's and stopped by this conspiracy museum in Canton (that was Dan's idea). We got in and the boys, big and little, took a walk in the woods with Granddaddy. We went to a local favorite, Fugler's, for dinner--which is a convenience store/bait shop/meat processor/restaurant. It was very East Texas. I had to have the fried okra, but only handle a bite of Scott's Bubba burger (what they're famous for). I'd hit my grease overload for the weekend!

Sunday we went to church at Alpine. I hadn't been back for probably 8 or 9 years. It was great to see faces from my childhood--now grown up, with their faces on their children! Alpine has changed tremendously over the years, but it was comforting to see those same folks again. (Aside: in my youth, I used to wonder why older people loved the old church song, "Precious Memories"---somehow, as I get older, I'm starting to see why memories are precious. Anyway...). The engine light turned on when Dan, Scott and I were driving to church, so Scott took the car to Auto Zone to have the car checked out during class. At worship, we couldn't find seats together, so the kids sat with Granmac and Granddaddy and Scott, Dan and I sat towards the back. Fortunately, the kids did fine, though Blane kept peeking over the seats and waving to us during the service.

We left about noon, and despite accidentally getting stuck on the loop around Paris, we made it home without incident. Uncle Dan stayed with us until Thursday, hanging out with boys, playing games, watching the Military History channel until he twitched, eating fish sticks, fries and other kid food and generally having a good time! And so, Texas Christmas 2008 (celebrated in 2009) drew to a close. As such, the countdown to Harnden Christmas 2009 begins...

Christmas according to Seth

I know, I know...I haven't written about Texas Christmas yet. But in the meantime, for your reading pleasure, I'm transcribing Seth's essay on his "Winter Break" (stinkin' PC name...):

"The 5 best things about my winter break are
1. Going to my Granthoders and Grandmutters cavin.
2. Playing with my noo toys.
3. having fun at my ants
4. riding tranis.
5. haveing funn at home.

Seth H."

Christmas Recap

Well, I'm back in the blogging saddle again, at least for the moment. I'll do my best to hit the high points from Christmas and New Years.

The Draney family (Scott's mom's side of the family) always has their Christmas on Christmas Eve. I recapped some of that a few posts ago, but not in great detail. We had some fabulous rotisserie chicken that had been roasted with veggies in the oven. It was simple and out of this world. The Zanders were marvelous hosts, as always. We all got a chuckle when Blane opened his first present, a can of Snoopy hot chocolate, and asked me in a loud voice, "Mom! Do I have any other presidents?" Of course later he realized how great a can of hot chocolate can be! But it was funny that anything without wheels did not spark his immediate interest.

Christmas morning we got up and opened gifts. It's always a pleasure to watch the kids rip the paper off and get excited about their gifts! We then had a nice Christmas brunch and later watched a pay-per-view of Home Alone 2 (the original Home Alone was not available, but the kids got a kick out of it anyway).

Christmas night is always spent at the Uncle Mack and Aunt Chris Harnden's house. We drove to Stillwell (which is now basically south Overland Park) and had a nice meal with Ty and Maddy Harnden, Jeff, Kelley and Tristan Jenkins, Jeff's parents, and of course, the Harnden(s.

On Friday, we picked up Nana and Papa at the airport, who were returning from their Hawaii trip and Christmas Day spent with Jay in Salt Lake. We ate tacos and chocolate pie for dinner (of course!). Saturday night was our Hannukah dinner with the Zanders. We ate brisket, and GF latkes (potato pancakes) with sour cream and applesauce. Mmmm good! Rachel taught the boys to play dreidels for M n' M's. We lit the menorah, listened to the Z's sing Hannukah songs and opened presents. Eight days of presents--how great is that?

Look soon for the Texas Christmas tour!

Real simple....unless you have kids

I got a letter in the mail today from Real Simple magazine begging me to re-up (actually, I've taken a hiatus for several years, so the proper term at this point is to re-subscribe!) Little do they know I've already done it, but that is not relevant to this post.

Included in the letter was my free Speed Cleaning Guide! It's a small thin folded piece of glossy cardstock with tips on cleaning my house muy rapido. Wow! Thanks, guys!

The insights were really amazing. Did you know that your living room can be clean in 6 minutes of daily effort? Yes! And the bathroom "should take no more time than flossing your teeth" to clean. In fact, you can clean your house in 19 minutes flat. Except, they left one little item out. Make that three little items in my case. Using the guide, with my commentary in italics, I will walk you through a hypothetical "speed cleaning" session:

LIVING ROOM
Their time: 6 minutes daily
Actual time: 20-40 minutes, depending on how fast I pick up the styrofoam pebbles out the carpet that Seth shredded for a "game".

• Pick up crumbs and dust bunnies with a hand-held vacuum (1 min)--see above
• Fluff cushions and fold throws after use (2 min)--if I can find them, because they might be a central support beam in a fort somewhere. Let's hope it's not outside.
• Wipe tabletops and spot-clean cabinets when you see fingerprints (1 min)--I give up.
• Straighten coffee-table books and magazines. Throw out old newspapers. Put away CD's and DVD's (2 min)--why do they think books and magazines only live on the coffee table?

By Real Simple's standards I should now have a clean living room. But why didn't they say anything about the Lego fort in the corner, the Monopoly game in progress on the floor and a Webkinz convention being held in the other corner? Still doesn't look clean to me, but maybe the kitchen will be better...after all, no toys in there, right?

THE KITCHEN

Their time: 4 1/2 minutes (wow...down to the second mark!)

Actual time: Never, because someone is always hungry.

• Wipe down the sink after doing the dishes or loading the dishwasher (30 sec)--what I want to know is, when did I have time to load the dishwasher?
• Wipe down the stovetop (1 min)--okay, that's not too hard--except there's this baked-on stuff I just keep hoping will evaporate away...
• Wipe down counters (1 min)--check. Just got to maneuver around the piles of mail and the extra food that I can't stuff in my pantries.
• Sweep, Swiffer or vacuum the floor (2 min)--this only works as long as no one eats for a while. One rice cake later, the work is destroyed.

Well, my kitchen should be clean, but somehow the sparkly sink I wiped down so prettily isn't showing up against all those dishes. On to the bedroom.

THE BEDROOM (let's use the boys' bedrooms for examples)

Their time: 6 1/2 minutes daily (they are nothing if not precise!)

Actual time: A really good job? By me? Probably quarterly to every 6 months. When I can't stand it any more.

• Make the bed (2 min)--hmm. If the pillows make it to the top of the bed and the sheets/blankets are located anywhere other than the floor or the bottom of the bed, does that count?
• Fold or hang clothing and put away jewelry (4 min)---hahahahahahahahahaha (pause and inhale) hahahahahahahahahaooohhahh hack, cough, ack!
• Straighten out the night table surface (30 sec)--no night table, so I'm skipping this.

Nope. Not even close. I'm losing faith, because the next one is the worst one of all.

THE BATHROOM

Their time: 2 minutes daily (I'm astounded!)

Actual time: 3 hours of intense, scrubbing labor that requires heavy duty cleaners, old clothes for me and fumes.

• Wipe out the sink (30 sec)-- I might need a chisel for the dried toothpaste blobs and remains of a bar of soap stuck to the sink.
• Wipe the toilet seat and rim (20 sec)--I have three boys who no longer require diapers and enjoy target practice. They must be kidding. I note there is NO MENTION of wiping the bottom of the toilet, the surrounding floor, the walls, the tub, the shower curtain, the rug or any object within 5 cubic feet of the potty.
• Swoosh the toilet bowl with a brush (20 sec)--see above.
• Wipe the mirror and faucet (20 min)--I refer you to the chisel.
• Squeegee the shower dooor (30 sec)--This does not apply to me because the boys don't use their shower. The last time they did, I had to rent a canoe to make to the tub. The only shower in our room, where there is a true shower door which keeps most of the water in the stall. I do keep life rings handy for emergencies, however. And hey, I don't own a Squeegee.

According to Real Simple magazine, my house is now clean! As I look around, I conclude...these people clearly don't have kids.

God with Us

It's 11:00 on Christmas Eve. The kids are tucked in bed, Scott bundled up in a parka to go to the 11 pm Christmas Eve service at the Anglican church on the corner, and I just finished wrapping the presents and stuffing the stockings.

Our tree is small but bright. It's definitely not the biggest one in the windows you drive by in our neighborhood. But it's full of ornaments, some from long ago, some given to us by dear people, some that commemorate special times of our lives and those made by little hands. The ornaments are mishmash, but somehow they all work together.

The stash under the tree is humble but all we need. It's been a tough end of the year for us and almost everyone else in America financially. Yet the fridge is full, there's money in the bank for another day and the gifts our children asked for are under the tree, plus a few they didn't ask for.

We just spent an evening with our family. Different religions, backgrounds and political views laughed and hugged their way through the evening. We watched a menorah be lit, heard songs sung in Hebrew/Yiddish and then merrily gave and received Christmas presents from each other. Dinner was wonderful and the company even better. It was truly a merry Christmas for us all.

I rejoice and exult in the thought of Emmanuel--God with us. Not many other words carry such power or force than this one. God with me...God in me. He is here.

Oh Lord, let me never get so distracted by the things that I don't have to miss the wealth that You have given me. In life, in possessions, in family, in children, in a husband, in You.

Emmanuel. No other gift on earth could be so dear to me as the gift of You and the life You give to me!

Simple Gifts

I was just thinking the other day about the little pleasures of parenthood that I didn't even think about experiencing before I had kids. Here are a few:

• Teaching your kids how to make a paper airplane.
• Watching your child's face light up when he sucks on the end of a honeysuckle blossom.
• Making them the weird and wonderful concoction that is French toast.
• Discovering the joy of Christmas TV specials. Somehow, Charlie Brown & Co. never get old.
• Reading all the little "books" your kiddo makes.
• Having a good excuse to try Dilly bars again.
• Making chicken nuggets (GF, of course) for dinner.
• Being able to snack on Goldfish.
• The smell of baby lotion and kid shampoo.
• Reading through the Chronicles of Narnia, Charlotte's Web, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Hans Christian Andersen again.
• Coloring and talking with your kid.
• Playing with Playdoh.
• Rediscovering the joys of hot chocolate with swirly whipped cream on top.
• Introducing the kids to great, timeless kid-fare movies like Star Wars, Hook, and someday soon, National Treasure and Raiders of the Lost Ark.
• Watching a speckled slug leave a silver trail on a wheelbarrow.
• Fun with burr oak acorns and horse apples.
• Pressing leaves and flowers.
• Teaching your kids to make snickerdoodles and pancakes.
• Going to the zoo.
• Staying in a hotel (an wonderous adventure unto itself with children).
• Teaching your kids to chew gum (don't swallow it!)
• Fun songs you forgot about from your childhood--16 Tons of Greasy, Grimy Gopher Guts, The Yodeling Song, Mrs. O'Leary's Cow, Eeny Meeny Miney Mo, etc. I don't know if I got all those titles right...
• Finding the utter fun in listening to the Proclaimers' song "I would walk 500 miles".
• Discovering it is "crunchy outside" when it snows.
• Teaching your kids how to properly roll a snowball for a snowman.
• The joy of icicles.
• Snow ice cream.
• Walking with your kids on a Sunday afternoon.
• Listening to them sing Christian songs around the house.
• Finding the laughs in bathroom humor again.

I'm sure I'll think of more in the days ahead, and I'll try to write them down.